lowjunket's Xanga

Ooolympics and Sssshit

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 17:13:52 GMT

So I check the online schedule for Judo, run to the TV in the hopes of catching it live (or replayed) and what SMACKS me in the face?

No, not this beauty of a throw.

Freaking Olympic CYCLING replays.
Seriously...who the hell spends 3 hours watching a pack of mentally sick men in skinnies pedaling away with a chunk of carbon fiber Seat riding up their arse holes?

Bleh...screw that shit. I'm off for a meal.

So I return, HOPING to catch something less homo-erotic, like wrestling....and what greets me on Aussie TV?
Swimming...followed by swimming....and after the short break....more swimming....and before the nightline...swimming.

My GOODNESS. How much SWIMMING can one nation watch?
Just show us freaking Stephanie Rice winning her Gold.

..cause she's the only Swimmer that looks something like a woman...

So..its a week into the Olympics and I have NOT SEEN a single event (opening ceremony missed too, although no regrets).

At this moment..the only thing more gob smacking than the SHIT-NESS of this year's Olympic coverage is our lovely Malaysian News.

Nothing like waking up, grabbing a bowl of hot oats and fruit, sipping my drink...and reading headlines like

Wow...seriously...wow
nevermind the 14 year old pregnant girl,
nevermind the dead dude with his guts hanging out,
nevermind the maid smashing the grandma,
nevermind the abuse of power and sexual harassment.

Do mind SAMY VELLU back in action!!!

Oh...SHIT indeed!

21st Century Dinosaurs

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 16:15:51 GMT

DINOSAUR. That's right...ancient big mofo lizard creatures.

Go ahead, take a test. Just Mention the word "DINOSAUR" and what's the first thing that comes to mind?
Jeff Goldblum bitch...Jeff Goldblum.

Followed shortly by mental images of museums, fossils, discovery channel and that funky ass 1990's TV series.

Oh...that one brought back good times.

But yeah, check out this little dude.

Any guesses on what kind of creature this is?
Bird? Lizard? Crocodile? Fish? Frog? Godzilla?

Ok..seriously, if you mentioned anything else besides 'Lizard'...there really are no words to describe your sense of perception.
Animal Identification FAIL!

So..smug ass. Sitting in your seating with "YEAH...I said LIZARD. And what?!?!"

Well..you're WRONG!!!! HAAA. Gotcha good.

Its a TUATARA from Kiwi Land! The only surviving members of the Sphenodontians which flourished around 200 million years ago!!!

Its a DINOSAUR you Biznatch Sucka! Well..the closest thing left to a Dinosaur anyway.

Wanna learn 2 kickass facts about the Tuatara? Of course you do...cause they KICK ASS!!!
1) Tuataras have a well-developed parietal eye, which can be seen only in hatchlings.
That's THREE EYES (as in vision..not whatever else you were thinking).
That's ONE more than YOU HAVE! (I hope)

2) A Tuatara lost its virginity at 111 years old!!!

Excuse my overly pro MSpaint skills.

But yeah...what a BEAST. 111 years old and still going!!!

The funniest movie ever

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:21:49 GMT

10 / 10 Straight Up.

Pineapple Express!!!

PARENTAL ADVICE: This Movie Contains DRUG USE...so its probably banned in Malaysia.

SO....Malaysians...DO YOURSELF AND YOUR COUNTRY A FAVOUR!!!
FIGHT THE POWER and Download or Buy this movie at the local DVD peddler.

I missed the Olympic Opening Ceremony to watch this in Cinema.
No Regrets.

Fitness First Can Go to Hell

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:00:49 GMT

I've trained at ~~Money~~ Fitness First before. Both in Melbourne and in KL.

Pros
- Clean
- Nice toilets
- Eye Candy (seriously, WHY ELSE would men do Yoga?)
- Great Cardio equipment

Cons
- Annoyingly Gay staff
- flashy useless equipment
- Faggy music
- overpriced gym fees.
- Wankers hogging equipment
- GYM TAKING LEGAL ACTION AGAINST YOU

No shit...
"Gym giant Fitness First has taken a former member who could not work out due to medical problems to court, all for the sake of $200.

The Supreme Court today ruled that Suh Yoke Chong, who suffers from lupus, thyroid problems and sleep apnea should not be refunded a $200 cancellation fee after she was unable to continue her membership due to blurred vision and headaches.

Ms Chong, who signed a contract with Fitness First on April 9, 2007, after she had put on weight due to steroid medication she was taking, took her case to the Consumer, Trader and Tenancy Tribunal."

Support your local Gyms. Heck, support Jacky Chan at California Fitness.

Just not these faggots at FF.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:23:18 GMT

I'm 2 Decades Old!!!

Man..time goes by fast.

Anyway....Just a quick public announcement.

DO NOT TAKE CAFFEINE AND DO HEAVY EXERCISE!!!

Had to redeem myself for a totally crap performance at the University Bench Press Competition yesterday (my Birthday too).

Had not eaten a meal since 3pm and was going for training at 6:30pm, so decided to take a Redbull to give myself wings.

BAD idea. Had a WHOPPING Headache while warming up..but psyched myself out of it.

Anyway....failed 200kg on the bench press (prior to that, successfully did 180kg and got 190kg up but not counted since I didn't pause properly and had uneven extension).

So...I told a friend I hadn't eaten and took a red bull before training. Told me it was really, really bad and explained that caffeine causes headaches by restricting blood flow, plus me being depleted of glycogen (sugar) in my blood (since I hadn't eaten in hours) would have made the effects worst.

Anyway, drank the rest of his Powerade and had a protein shake and a couple litres of water...headache relieved after a while.

What happened was (from wikipedia),

caffeine is primarily an antagonist of the central nervous system's receptors for the neurotransmitter adenosine...Because adenosine, in part, serves to regulate blood pressure by causing vasodilation, the increased effects of adenosine due to caffeine withdrawal cause the blood vessels of the head to dilate, leading to an excess of blood in the head and causing a
headache and nausea.

So yeah...BE CAREFUL!!! Whether you're a hardcore gym junkie or just need that boost of caffeine for a jog - DO NOT DO IT!!!

Drink Milo instead or have a chocoloate bar and some nuts.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 03:46:12 GMT

Oh gosh...laughed sooo hard at this song.

True Malaysian Comedy Genius.

ELECTIONS blah blah blah

ENJOY

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 16:48:02 GMT

OK...I'm back from Malaysia.
Gained 14kg of pure unadulterated FAT...Totally Worth it.

Anyway...was listening to John Denver's Country Roads. Fully love that song.
So...I decided to pimp it out and write my own lyrics to its tune...

SABAH ROADS

Totally Awesome, East Malaysia
Kinabalu mountains
Kinabatangan river –
Go lepak there
Lepak cause we’re free
More fun than Kuala Lumpur
Except for Longkang Breeze

Sabah roads, take me home
To the place I belong
East Malaysia, Kota Kinabalu
Take me home, Sabah roads

When I’m hungry, anywhere can makan
Kedai kopi, Either that or mamak
Ka liau ka mien, best damn kon lau mee
Kickass taste of roti
Teardrops in my eye

Sabah roads, take me home
To the place I belong
East Malaysia, Kota Kinabalu
Take me home, Sabah roads

Ramai-ramai
In the morning hours with kakis
Mix FM reminds me I should be home right away
And drivin down the road I get a feelin
That I should scream Aramaitii, Aramaitii

Sabah roads, take me home
To the place I belong
East Malaysia, Kota Kinabalu
Take me home, Sabah roads

Sabah roads, take me home
To the place I belong
East Malaysia, Kota Kinabalu
Take me home, Sabah roads
Take me home, now Sabah roads
Take me home, now Sabah roads

ANYBODY WHO WOULD WISH TO SING AND RECORD THIS SONG - FEEL FREE TO DO SO.
Cheers folks.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 02:07:09 GMT

He fought the law with a parang
(click me)

...the Law WON!

COBRA STYLE BITCH!!!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 14:35:16 GMT

Exam Distraction & Procrastination

So...while trying to learn how to account for indirect interest and changes in degree of ownership of a subsidiary in accordance with AASB 128...

...I learnt that TOP FUEL DRAGSTERS ARE THE FASTEST ACCELERATING VEHICLES ON EARTH!!!

That's right.

The fastest top fuelers can attain terminal speeds of over 530 km/h (330 mph) while covering the quarter mile (402 m) distance in roughly 4.45 seconds. It is often related that Top Fuel dragsters are the fastest accelerating vehicles on Earth; quicker even than the space shuttle launch vehicle or catapult-assisted jet fighter (however this ignores the hydrogen peroxide rocket dragsters such as Sammy Miller and Kitty O'Neil's 3.22 ET and 663 km/h (412 mph) quarter mile world records set in 1977).

SIMPLY AMAZING!

Now check out these crashes (amazing almost all of them SURVIVE!!!)

On a completely Different note. Check out this awesome song I heard on Futurama

Pizzicato Five - Baby Love Child

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 10:21:29 GMT

Angkasawan’s brother in a coma

Dr Sheikh Muszaphar’s elder brother, Sheikh Taufiq said their younger brother, Sheikh Mustafa Shukor Al Masrie, 32, fell unconscious after walking into a pillar outside a restaurant in Jalan Klang Lama on Sunday.

“He was going into the restaurant when he accidentally hit the pillar. He fell and his head hit some bricks,” said Sheikh Taufiq.

If only he could Moonwalk like his bro.